5 Really Funny Celebrity Twitter Burns

1 - Frankie Muniz Response to a twitter troll hating on his acting:

2 - Kelly Clarkson's response to someone on twitter calling her "pathetic"

3 - Zack Braff responds to someone on twitter claiming that his profile pic makes him look old

4 -Hayden Christensen swipes back at a troll that slammed his acting in the Star Wars movies:

5 - Eleanor Calder responds to a jealous Directioner, who attacked her for dating One Direction Heartthrob Louis Tomlinson 

AMMUNITION PEOPLE. HAVE THAT SHIT READY A-HOLES ARE EVERYWHERE BUT THEY TEND TO BREW AND BREED ON THE INTERNET AND SOCIAL MEDIA.

Comebacks of the Day

Comebacks to Insults of the day.. 
(some of these are funny but some of these are groaners)

- I would insult you back but you're not bright enough to notice
- Too many freaks and not enough circuses
- Did aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
- You put the "dick" in "ridiculous"
- I'm really sorry but before you insult me and make hateful comments, you should really trying getting a life
- You know what I'm in the mood for? I big bowl of shut the f*ck up
- If you have a problem with me then cry me a river and jump in it
- In order for you to insult me I would first have to value your opinion

How to Deal With Idiots

Its very easy to mistake an Idiot for and A-hole. Sometimes the two go hand in hand. But sometimes the offender is completely clueless about the world and is just an idiot. This is something that there is no cure for. The idiots intentions are usually not malicious, even though they may appear to be inconsiderate and selfish. It's a very tough call and difficult to determine.

For example, take the dude that runs his mouth of for no reason. He means well, but he has no filter. He says things because he has a low self esteem, needs attention and wants to make people laugh. In the process of doing so, he pisses off a bunch of people. He spends his free time watching Daniel Tosh and listening to Howard Stern. He thinks shock humor and jokes about rape are hilarious. Even though he might not be misogynistic himself, he believes that he can make people laugh with his offensive one liners. This prompts him to make these awful jokes, not realizing that he is offending several people because he hasn't learned to shut his mouth. This dude isn't and A-hole. This dude an idiot. Deep down he is actually not a bad guy, he's actually pretty nice. He just doesn't know any better and doesn't realize the things he says might hurt other people.

So how do you deal with this brand of of idiot? Well, for starters, you certainly can't confront him on the spot. If he says something really offensive, he probably doesn't really mean it. He's only saying it because he wants a reaction. He wants a laugh. The best way to deal with this situation is to look at the person and say "funny", but don't laugh. Or just don't say anything. Do NOT let him get a rise out of you.  If he sees that you are getting angry, he will immediately go on the defense. He made the joke because he wants instant gratification. If you give him sh*t about it right on the spot he will probably say "oh lighten up"..or try his best to defend his remark, even if he didn't mean it or doesn't buy into the BS that is coming out of his mouth. His ego is at stake and he is no longer defending his remark. He is now defending himself. Take a breath and walk away. There is no point in trying to get into with him at that moment.

So ...what you can do to stop him from making these types of remarks around you in the future? If the idiot is continuously making these obnoxious remarks, you might want to either call and talks to him at another time or pull him aside.. AT ANOTHER TIME..PRIVATELY.. NOT after he has made the comment, and politely tell him you were kind of offended by his remarks. Make sure this is a one on one conversation and that nobody else is around. He will probably say he was only "joking" and maybe even apologize.  If he still goes on the defense at this point or tries to justify his remarks after learning that they bothered you, then he is not an idiot. He is an A-hole. Please refer to my guide on this website about this epidemic.

How To Respond When an A-Hole Insults You

If you haven't visited our page on Asshole Syndrome, I recommend checking it out for reference. If somebody has a form of this epidemic, chances are they will sooner or later launch an attack. It is inevitable. Therefore it is important to have some ammunition to use against attacks from people with Assholery Syndrome. Just keep in mind, if you argue with them, you risk the chance of looking like someone with Assholery Syndrome. But if you outsmart them, you might just end up on top.

Good Responses to Asshole Attacks:
 - If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I would have farted
- Acting like a dick, won't make yours any bigger
- Why don't we skip all the BS, and you just tell me what brand of asshole you are
- If the phrase "you are what you eat" saying is true, then you must be a asshole.
- Could you go away please, I'm allergic to douchebags
- I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of your handicap

Childhood Insults

It seems like the day on the playground are different nowadays than they used to be. I only say this because back in the day if you dropped an F-bomb or called someone any name you would get sent to the principals office. I don't think that policing what comes out of kids mouths is as easy in current times because many young people are exposed to these words on the internet or on tv. They read some of the comments on youtube - which pretty much has no policing whatsoever, and they repeat it and think it's acceptable. And worse off, they get away with it when they say it to other kids and even adults. 

"I'm rubber you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you"

Comebacks to Name Calling and Dealing with Mean People

If somebody calls you a name it's like the lowest and lamest thing they can do because honestly they are so stupid that they can't even think of anything else to say. It's really hard for people to think clearly when they are busy being a total pain in the ass and immature. Some people are mean and have to make other people feel bad in order to make themselves feel good. This comes from deep seeded insecurities and chances are this person is either jealous of you or doesn't feel good about their own life. People say you can't fire with fire and this is probably true but you CAN fight fire with a nuke and completely demolish them. This can't be done half ass. You need to have something smarter, funnier and better to say in response.  If somebody launches a fire on you like calling you a name, you have a few options. You can call them another name back ie: "you're a bitch" "well you're a douche-bag"..and you walk away thinking you could have said something better than that. So why not be prepared? Remember, assholes and mean self-centered people walk this planet every day. Chances are sooner or later you're going to have to deal with one. You can always ignore them but that doesn't always make them go away and then you regret not telling them off. You can take the high road and simply tell them straight out that you won't drop to their level. Or you can nuke them with something better.

Ignoring them: 
- Say -"can you go away please, I will ignore you later"
- Pretend they aren't even there and then walk away

Acknowledge:
- Look them straight in the eye and laugh and then walk away
- Say "Thank you" sarcastically and smile
- Smile and laugh at them and say "classy" and then walk away
- Glare at them, smile and shake your head and walk away
- Say "I have some colorful names I would like to call you in response, but I think I'm gonna be the better person and not drop myself down to your pathetic level of lameness"
- "I'm sorry what did you say? I have an ear disease called I don't care"
- "I hope your day is as pleasant as you are"

Burns: These are what I call "nukes", they are kind of mean and should be used with caution.
"If I throw a stick, will you leave?"
"You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you’ll find one".

"Someone got up on the wrong side of the cage this morning"

"Out of millions of sperm, you were the fastest?"
"Shouldn't be out on a ledge somewhere"

Comeback Insult

I don't know about other people, but I find the lack of creativity in trolling to be kinda pathetic. I mean what the some idiot's definition of an insult is really lame to me. Some insults are just dumb and make no sense. A lot of trolls typically insult people by using unoriginal and unfunny things to insult them by. For instance - "You're gay".. is that really an insult? It's insulting that you would use being gay as an insult. For one thing, I'm not gay, but if I was gay, I would find that offensive because there is nothing wrong with being gay. So why do people still use it as an insult? That's the lamest form of trolling. Another insult people like to use is "get a life".. seriously? That makes no sense. Even if my life wasn't interesting and all I did all day was spend time on the internet or watching reruns of  One Tree Hill, my life would still be my life. The only way I wouldn't have a life is if I were dead... or if I were never born. So I'm not sure why people even say that. It's the dumbest insult in the world. I have some snappy comebacks to these uninspiring insults.

Dumbest Insults - You're fat, your gay, you're a loser, get a life, etc.


INSULT: you're gay
COMEBACK: I guess you would know better since you were biting the pillow last night