Showing posts with label funny zingers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny zingers. Show all posts

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Insults, Zingers and Comebacks to Stupid People!




Here is a brand new list of hilarious insults and comebacks to people being stupid!

If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head!

You look like the poster child for birth control

Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example.

You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room.

If you're gonna be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you're just an ass.

It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.

Hey, you have somthing on your chin... no, the 3rd one down

You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.

You are proof that God has a sense of humor.

I fart to make you smell better.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled.

Why dont you shut up and give that hole in your face a chance to heal.

Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand.

I'm no proctologist, but I know as asshole when I see one.

I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

You're not funny, but your life, now that's a joke.

You're as useful as a knitted condom.

What language are you speaking? Cause it sounds like bullshit.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

You do realize that people just tolerate you?

I would love to insult you... but that would be beyond the level of your intelligence.

You're IQ's lower than your shoe size.

I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant.

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Don't get insulted, but is your life devoted to spreading ignorance?

I don't think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking.

Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?

Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid?

Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

If you are going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Your mom is like a repost

You are the reason why the word "reality" is an antonym to happiness

Your opinion is about as welcome as a post-shower fart.

You're about as useful as a cow with down syndrome 

Image result for insults

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

List of Insult Names and Comebacks

Shit Carcus
Monkeyfuck
Cambodian cumlicker
Shit-Blister
Shitfaced cocknozzle
Sour Cuntsickle
Skanksauce
Cuntzilla
Asslicker
CuntBurger
DickNose
CuntBurger
DickFace
Jizzface
Jizzbag
Assface
Asscracker
Ass-Sucker
FuckBrain
Fat-ass FuckFace


Photo:

Friday, March 14, 2014

Comebacks to Insults

Here are a couple of snappy zingers and combacks to insults that are commonly thrown around by ignorant people with Assholery Syndrome:

Insult: You're Gay
- At least I'm not a homophobe
- You wish
- And your point is?
- yeah you're wife enjoys me too
- Why do you say that, did I set off your Gaydar?
- Is that the best you can think of?
- Why, are you interested?
- And you're a homophobic douchebag

Insult: You're Ugly
- I can fix my ugliness with plastic surgery but you will stay stupid forever
-There must be a mirror on your face so you can see your reflection
- What did you just say? Sorry I don't speak dumbass
- At least I'm not as ugly as you
- Insulting me won't make you any prettier

You're Fat:
- I can lose weight, but you'll always be ugly
- I'm fat because every time I banged your mom she gave me a cookie

Fail
- Nobody asked for your biography
- just like your Dads condom

TO be honest, it really bothers that the hell out of me that people  think that calling other people "gay" is an insult. There is nothing wrong with being gay. As far as it goes with people calling other people fat and ugly goes, they are probably suffering from Assholery Syndrome. You can't argue with an A-hole. You look like a bigger one if you do. But you can outsmart them and walk away.


Thursday, February 27, 2014

Comebacks of the Day

Comebacks to Insults of the day.. 
(some of these are funny but some of these are groaners)

- I would insult you back but you're not bright enough to notice
- Too many freaks and not enough circuses
- Did aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
- You put the "dick" in "ridiculous"
- I'm really sorry but before you insult me and make hateful comments, you should really trying getting a life
- You know what I'm in the mood for? I big bowl of shut the f*ck up
- If you have a problem with me then cry me a river and jump in it
- In order for you to insult me I would first have to value your opinion