Insults, Zingers and Comebacks to Stupid People!

Here is a brand new list of hilarious insults and comebacks to people being stupid!

If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head!

You look like the poster child for birth control

Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example.

You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room.

If you're gonna be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise you're just an ass.

It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.

Hey, you have somthing on your chin... no, the 3rd one down

You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.

You are proof that God has a sense of humor.

I fart to make you smell better.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; you only gargled.

Why dont you shut up and give that hole in your face a chance to heal.

Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand.

I'm no proctologist, but I know as asshole when I see one.

I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

You're not funny, but your life, now that's a joke.

You're as useful as a knitted condom.

What language are you speaking? Cause it sounds like bullshit.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

You do realize that people just tolerate you?

I would love to insult you... but that would be beyond the level of your intelligence.

You're IQ's lower than your shoe size.

I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant.

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Don't get insulted, but is your life devoted to spreading ignorance?

I don't think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking.

Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?

Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid?

Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

If you are going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Your mom is like a repost

You are the reason why the word "reality" is an antonym to happiness

Your opinion is about as welcome as a post-shower fart.

You're about as useful as a cow with down syndrome 

Insults/Comebacks of the Day

I have five of them! They are new! Where do I get these from? I hear them, read them, experience them from my personal encounters with A-holes and write them down as I go!

- This is why the world will never be a beautiful place because if little pieces of shits like you continue to live in this world
- You're a disgusting vomit-inducing douche bag
- You're a waste of space
- You're the definition of scum
- Thank you, I appreciate you acting like a five year old.

Really Brutal Insults

This is a list of some very raunchy comebacks and insults.  NOTE: This list is NSFW and should be used with  extreme caution as many of these are obnoxiously cruel. But let's face it - sometimes you need to fight fire with fire. When you're under attack from a world class a$$hole then any one of these zingers should shut them up pretty quickly. If one doesn't work, then have a few ready for back up!

Looks like you suffered from fetal alcohol syndrome

Go fuck a landmine

A douche of your magnitude could cleanse the vagina of a whale

Go headbutt a bullet

Go play on the freeway

Isn't there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of?

Your face looks like someone tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver

Go play hackey sack with a grenade

Go deepthroat a cactus

I don't have the time or the crayons to explain it to you

You think you're hot shit but you're really just cold diarrhea

If you want my comeback, you're gonna have to wipe it off your mom's face

Have you ever considered suing your mother for drinking while she was pregnant with you

You're not half the man your mother is.

You have the intelligence of a stillborn fetus

It must be difficult for you, exhausting your entire vocabulary in one sentence

Why don’t you go outside and play a game of hide and go fuck yourself

You're about as useful as Anne Frank's drum kit

Hey- why don't you give me your phone number and I will call you when I give a shit

Does your penis ever get jealous of you being a total dick

You're not worth the money it would have cost to abort you

I wish you would climb up your ego and jump off onto your IQ

Whoever's willing to fuck you is just too lazy to jerk off

Did you fall from Heaven? Because it looks like you hit the ground face-first

Your birth certificate is an apology from the abortion clinic
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If I wanted any lip from you I'd pry it off my dick

I'd tell you to go eat a dick, but I don't want to tell you how to do your job

Your mother should have just swallowed you

Your father should have put it in her butt

Your father should have just gone to sleep that night