Insult Vine

Comeback to "What are you 5?"

Come Backs, Insults and Rebuttals!

You fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. 
You're  one taco short of a combo plate
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. 
You're proof that evolution can actually go in reverse
I think you're a few fries short of a Happy Meal. 
You're about as sharp as a marble
Did you forget to pay your brain bill?
You remind me of my toilet - fat round and full of shit.
You're like a bag of pampers, self absorbed and full of shit
You're full of shit test came back positive. It appears your integrity was benign
Here's a tissue.. you have a little bullshit on your lip
You should probably go flush yourself because your full of shit
You're so full of shit your eyes are brown
Hey guess what? I don't give a shit!
You're slower than shit in sewer
You're talking so much shit right now I don't know whether to offer you a breath mint or toilet paper
You're so full of shit that if I gave you a laxative you would disappear
Were you hiding behind the door when they passed out brains?
I think you inspired the slogan, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."
Are you Intellectually challenged?
There's only one trouble with your face-- it shows!
If the government ever declared war on stupidity, you would get nuked.
You're a man of few words.. the problem is you keep repeating them
I'm sure you're a legend ...in your own mirror
You have strange growth on your neck.. I think it's your head. 
Some babies were dropped on their heads but you were clearly thrown at a wall
Your face is OK but you should probably put a bag over that personality
Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there. 
I'm a little busy now.. can you just call yourself an idiot for me?
You're about as enjoyable as a uritary tract infection
The wheels on the bus go FUCK YOURSELF.
There is no measure unit for your level of stupidity
If stupidity was an illness you'd be dead by now
You've got your head so far up your ass, you can chew it twice
I'd like to nominate you for the lava bucket challenge
Your face.. it's breathing my air. Stop it. 

25 Worst Comebacks Ever

Here are 25 of the Worst Comebacks Ever... 
OK maybe not the worst. Some of these are actually pretty good. 

1 - Your Mom!
2 - Who shit in your cheerios?
3 - I know you are but what am I?
4 - What breed are you?
5 - Oh stop, that hurts my feelings
6 - Oh yeah?
7 - You should have been a blowjob
8 -  Excuse me, did I ask for your opinion
9 -  Sorry I don't speak idiot
10 - The dingo should have eaten you when you were a baby
11 - F*ck you, you  f*ckin F*ck
12 - Sorry I can't hear you over all the assholerly
13 - Go f*ck a duck
14 - Ok then.. Do you feel better now?
15 - I don't know why you think I care
16 - I'm rubber, your glue, whatever you say, bounces off me and sticks to you
17 - Sorry it's not my fault your parents don't love you
18 - Bless your heart
19 - You mad bro? (classic trolling) 
21 - You seem upset. Are you OK? (classic trolling)
22 - Sorry that your life sucks so bad
23 - Your town called, they're missing an idiot
24 - Is that all you got?
25 - Stop trying so hard

Comebacks to Insults

Here are a couple of snappy zingers and combacks to insults that are commonly thrown around by ignorant people with Assholery Syndrome:

Insult: You're Gay
- At least I'm not a homophobe
- You wish
- And your point is?
- yeah you're wife enjoys me too
- Why do you say that, did I set off your Gaydar?
- Is that the best you can think of?
- Why, are you interested?
- And you're a homophobic douchebag

Insult: You're Ugly
- I can fix my ugliness with plastic surgery but you will stay stupid forever
-There must be a mirror on your face so you can see your reflection
- What did you just say? Sorry I don't speak dumbass
- At least I'm not as ugly as you
- Insulting me won't make you any prettier

You're Fat:
- I can lose weight, but you'll always be ugly
- I'm fat because every time I banged your mom she gave me a cookie

Fail
- Nobody asked for your biography
- just like your Dads condom

TO be honest, it really bothers that the hell out of me that people  think that calling other people "gay" is an insult. There is nothing wrong with being gay. As far as it goes with people calling other people fat and ugly goes, they are probably suffering from Assholery Syndrome. You can't argue with an A-hole. You look like a bigger one if you do. But you can outsmart them and walk away.

Comebacks of the Day

Comebacks to Insults of the day.. 
(some of these are funny but some of these are groaners)

- I would insult you back but you're not bright enough to notice
- Too many freaks and not enough circuses
- Did aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
- You put the "dick" in "ridiculous"
- I'm really sorry but before you insult me and make hateful comments, you should really trying getting a life
- You know what I'm in the mood for? I big bowl of shut the f*ck up
- If you have a problem with me then cry me a river and jump in it
- In order for you to insult me I would first have to value your opinion

How To Respond When an A-Hole Insults You

If you haven't visited our page on Asshole Syndrome, I recommend checking it out for reference. If somebody has a form of this epidemic, chances are they will sooner or later launch an attack. It is inevitable. Therefore it is important to have some ammunition to use against attacks from people with Assholery Syndrome. Just keep in mind, if you argue with them, you risk the chance of looking like someone with Assholery Syndrome. But if you outsmart them, you might just end up on top.

Good Responses to Asshole Attacks:
 - If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I would have farted
- Acting like a dick, won't make yours any bigger
- Why don't we skip all the BS, and you just tell me what brand of asshole you are
- If the phrase "you are what you eat" saying is true, then you must be a asshole.
- Could you go away please, I'm allergic to douchebags
- I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of your handicap

Childhood Insults

It seems like the day on the playground are different nowadays than they used to be. I only say this because back in the day if you dropped an F-bomb or called someone any name you would get sent to the principals office. I don't think that policing what comes out of kids mouths is as easy in current times because many young people are exposed to these words on the internet or on tv. They read some of the comments on youtube - which pretty much has no policing whatsoever, and they repeat it and think it's acceptable. And worse off, they get away with it when they say it to other kids and even adults. 

"I'm rubber you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you"

Comeback Insult

I don't know about other people, but I find the lack of creativity in trolling to be kinda pathetic. I mean what the some idiot's definition of an insult is really lame to me. Some insults are just dumb and make no sense. A lot of trolls typically insult people by using unoriginal and unfunny things to insult them by. For instance - "You're gay".. is that really an insult? It's insulting that you would use being gay as an insult. For one thing, I'm not gay, but if I was gay, I would find that offensive because there is nothing wrong with being gay. So why do people still use it as an insult? That's the lamest form of trolling. Another insult people like to use is "get a life".. seriously? That makes no sense. Even if my life wasn't interesting and all I did all day was spend time on the internet or watching reruns of  One Tree Hill, my life would still be my life. The only way I wouldn't have a life is if I were dead... or if I were never born. So I'm not sure why people even say that. It's the dumbest insult in the world. I have some snappy comebacks to these uninspiring insults.

Dumbest Insults - You're fat, your gay, you're a loser, get a life, etc.


INSULT: you're gay
COMEBACK: I guess you would know better since you were biting the pillow last night