Assholery Syndrome

Not to be confused with stupidity, Assholery is a serious and often ignored illness that is ruining the world as we know it. Assholery has been around for generations and can be hereditary but not all people exhibiting signs of Assholery have a history of  illness in their families. Unfortunately, if you or anyone you know is suffering from Assholery, there is no cure. Symptoms of Assholery can range from mild to severe and begin to occur during an individuals teen years or even during childhood. In some rare cases, symptoms of Assholery do not surface until the victim is older.  Many people suffering from Assholery can go for several years or even their entire lifespan without being diagnosed.  Assholery can be treated with few side affects and can be manageable if treated properly. Assholery can be found in both men and women. Procedures for treatment include kicking the victim in the balls, smacking them in the face or beating them senseless into humiliation.

Symptoms of Assholery Syndrom: 
Acting like an asshole aka douchebag aka scumbag
Not giving a shit about anyone else but themselves
Insults or puts down other people for no reason
Troll the internet because they suck balls
Stealing parking spots
Cutting in line
Thinks they are the shit
Being rude to a waiter/waitress
Leaving little or no tip
Always has to be right, even if they are wrong
Calls others "fails"
Hitting on their friends girl or boyfriend
Likes the sound of their own voice
Taking up more than one parking spot with their car
Brags about a bunch of crap they never did
Goes to HS parties when they are over the age of 25
Constantly takes selfies of him/herself and posts them online, often topless
Gets a water cup at McDonald and fills it with soda
Punches puppies, babies or kittens

If you or anyone you know are exhibiting signs of Assholery, please see a professional Assholery Specialist for immediate treatment. Also, a home remedy is punching the Assholery sufferer in the face a few times. It will help relieve some of the symptoms until further treatment is available.