How to Deal with Trolls and Insults Online

We have ALL been trolled at some point online whether it be on a twitter status update, instagram photo, facebook comment or youtube video. The internet has allowed trolls to run on a rampage shielded by a screen of anonymity and random usernames. It's hard to not let it get under your skin. Especially if they make it personal by calling you a name or insulting your looks. The knee-jerk reaction is to fire back and let the troll have it. That is exactly what the troll wants you do. This is called "feeding the troll". You see, the person behind the screen is bored and wants attention. Perhaps in real life they are a complete and total loser. It could also be a case of them having nothing better to do with their time. So they post a rude comment with hopes that you will respond and give them that much sought after attention that they are longing for in the real world. The best way to handle it is to keep your emotions in check and not take it personally. Then do the following. 

1 -  Block That Shit
Block them. Don't let them respond or comment anymore. You can block them on facebook, twitter, youtube and instagram. This will prevent them from contacting you again unless they sign in under a different name. In which case you can block that name too. If you simply block them and don't respond then it takes away everything from them.

2 - Avoidance
Just ignore them. Don't even respond. If they don't get a rise out of you and you leave them be, they are going to look like a total jackass for making the comment and everyone is going to see how rude they were.

3 - Delete It
You don't have to sit there and re-read that comment and think about the nasty thing they posted. Just delete it. They were out of line and you don't need to have that kind of negativity on your social media. Remove it and the BS is gone. 

Comebacks to Insults

Here are a couple of snappy zingers and combacks to insults that are commonly thrown around by ignorant people with Assholery Syndrome:

Insult: You're Gay
- At least I'm not a homophobe
- You wish
- And your point is?
- yeah you're wife enjoys me too
- Why do you say that, did I set off your Gaydar?
- Is that the best you can think of?
- Why, are you interested?
- And you're a homophobic douchebag

Insult: You're Ugly
- I can fix my ugliness with plastic surgery but you will stay stupid forever
-There must be a mirror on your face so you can see your reflection
- What did you just say? Sorry I don't speak dumbass
- At least I'm not as ugly as you
- Insulting me won't make you any prettier

You're Fat:
- I can lose weight, but you'll always be ugly
- I'm fat because every time I banged your mom she gave me a cookie

Fail
- Nobody asked for your biography
- just like your Dads condom

TO be honest, it really bothers that the hell out of me that people  think that calling other people "gay" is an insult. There is nothing wrong with being gay. As far as it goes with people calling other people fat and ugly goes, they are probably suffering from Assholery Syndrome. You can't argue with an A-hole. You look like a bigger one if you do. But you can outsmart them and walk away.

The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time

6 Really Obnoxious Text Zinger Replies

Five Celebrity Confrontations On Camera

1.Rosie O'Donnell VS Elisabeth Hassleback. These two used to go at it all the time on the View. The View has always had it's moments of heated conflicts and disagreements on various political issues during their "Hot Topic" segments.


2. Alec Baldwin has a history of past issues with run-ins with the Paparazzi. I do have some sympathy for the guy because clearly these paps are notorious for getting in celebrities faces. In video it appears he was very agitated about being questioned by a female reporter. Losing his temper and cursing her out only brought more attention to the situation. This eventually lead to him being ambushed by a shitload of press. My feeling is this: You're an over privileged rich celebrity. You can afford to hire a driver to pick you up. You don't need to go out there and confront dudes that are trying to take your picture. You can also just ignore them. Calling them names and acting like a total douche isn't going to help your situation. To make things worse, after the whole confrontation, Alec gets into his car and hits the car in front of him when he tries to  pull out of his parking spot. 


3. Billy Joe Armstrong of Green Day broke down at the 2012 I Heart Radio Music Festival and basically had a confrontation with the time clock. The clock displayed they had only 1 minute of stage time left in what appeared to be the middle of their performance set. In the video, he rants  about being left with only a minute yelling "I'm NOT Justin Bieber". ..You know what? GOOD! We don't need any more Bieber. Green Day is a real band and it's annoying that they would have to take a back seat to all these little poptart studio groups and auto-tuned singers. It was reported that the singer entered rehab days later and is now sober. The only funny part of this video is at the end when fails to break his guitar after several attempt. ..after 4 attempts of smashing the guitar, it finally breaks on the 5th slam. 




4. Quentin Tarantino becomes annoyed and gets in a heated confrontation with an interviewer when the host pushes the discussion into the topic of the use of violence in movies. The interviewer continues to press on the subject of violence while Tarantino continues to refuse any discussion on the matter. Basically he goes on to say he doesn't want to discuss this issue because he's already talked about this topic in numerous interviews over the past 20 years. Really? Oh come on.. answering the same questions over and over again is part of doing press for your movies. You want to go on a tv show to  promote your film you need to suck it up deal with it. 




5. Justin Bieber stops traffic after being chased in his car by Paparazzi. Ok. I understand him finally stopping because these paps were chasing him in his car and then asked him why he was driving so fast. Clearly he was driving fast to get away from those scumbags..The problem is another pap pulls up on the other side of the vehicle. Between the three cars they are all blocking the highway in three lanes across. This is ridiculous. I'm not a Bieber fan but I don't blame him for confronting the pap.However, I don't think it was necessary to hold up traffic for as long as he did.  Eventually one lady gets out of her car and says "come on! lets go!" 

7 Really Funny Memes About A-holes

BONUS A-HOLE

6 Annoyances That Make People Angry as Hell

Small annoyances are usually easy to diffuse but we all know that feeling when several of these annoyances build up in one day and piss you off turning you into a major A-Hole. Now some of us have a higher tolerance for these small things. Others will go batshit crazy when this happens.

1 - Losing your keys. If you lose your keys at home and they are not in their normal place its our first instinct to panic. We turn over couch seat cushions, comb through drawers, and move furniture in a desperate attempt of hope that they will show up. This issue is particularly a pain in the ass if you have to go somewhere and you can't leave until you figure out where the hell they are.

2 - The weather. It doesn't matter if you hate the cold and love the heat or hate the heat and love the cold. Extreme temperatures of any degree are enough to weigh us down for the day. Particularly on the days that it's pouring outside and you leave the house without your umbrella. Also, some of these massive snow storms and polar vortex cold spells can start to eat away at your soul after a while.

3 - Driving. People lose their damn minds when they are behind the wheel. They sometimes go into a heated rage when another idiot on the road cuts them off, doesn't pay attention, or drives to slow/fast. This heated anger often causes all kinds of unwanted tension and aggravation in your routine. It only takes one A-hole on the road to ruin your entire mood.

4 - Chewing and Eating. Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. People seem to have a real problem with having to listen to other people chewing really loud or chomping away on their gum. Some people are louder chewers than others. Some don't even know how to chew with their mouths closed. That's enough to drive anyone to insanity.

5- Noise. Whether it be someone next to you talking too loud on their phone, your neighbors cranking up the bass on their sound system, or construction drilling outside your house/apt...Loud noise when you want some peace and quiet can get on your nerves without them even realizing it.

6 - Slow internet connections. You are on the internet while happily enjoying that silly cat video when suddenly the player freezes... buffering...and you wait about 30 seconds for it to play for another 10 seconds and then freeze up again. You are heartbroken that you will never see another cat video like that again.


SOOO.. what's the best way to deal with these issues?

Well, for your keys you can probably have a key holder and make it a habit to hang them every day. You could also get spare copies made in case of an emergency. I know for car keys it can get expensive, but think of the frustration and stress you will end up saving yourself. There isn't a whole lot you can do about those awful snow storms that keep dumping 8-10 inches in your driveway every few weeks during winter...and there is nothing you can do about that 100 degree humidity. You're best bet is to keep informed about the forecast and prepare yourself. Driving and road rage? Admitting you have a problem with it and try to catch yourself losing your sh*t. You need to realize that there are more important things to get angry about. That dude that snuck into your lane? You will never see him again (hopefully), so you might as well not let yourself get angry about it. When people chew loud and it's getting on your nerves just leave the room. Noise? Other than moving to a quieter neighborhood, this is another thing you can't really control. Put on your headphones or a fan. Drain the noise out. That's your best bet. And finally, if you're internet connection sucks, change your provider. They are charging you a lot of money every month and they need to deliver. You can sometimes get your bill lowered if you call and complain enough about it.

Above all things, relieving the tension is the best way to deal with your angry rages. Laughter is SO important. It boosts brain power, reduces stress and helps people focus. Putting on a funny tv show or watching some silly cats or other funny videos on Youtube might help you  relieve the tension. Go for it. Make yourself laugh and you will find the small annoyances won't bother you as much.