Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Really Brutal Insults

This is a list of some very raunchy comebacks and insults.  NOTE: This list is NSFW and should be used with  extreme caution as many of these are obnoxiously cruel. But let's face it - sometimes you need to fight fire with fire. When you're under attack from a world class a$$hole then any one of these zingers should shut them up pretty quickly. If one doesn't work, then have a few ready for back up!

Looks like you suffered from fetal alcohol syndrome

Go fuck a landmine

A douche of your magnitude could cleanse the vagina of a whale

Go headbutt a bullet

Go play on the freeway

Isn't there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of?

Your face looks like someone tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver

Go play hackey sack with a grenade

Go deepthroat a cactus

I don't have the time or the crayons to explain it to you

You think you're hot shit but you're really just cold diarrhea

If you want my comeback, you're gonna have to wipe it off your mom's face

Have you ever considered suing your mother for drinking while she was pregnant with you

You're not half the man your mother is.

You have the intelligence of a stillborn fetus

It must be difficult for you, exhausting your entire vocabulary in one sentence

Why don’t you go outside and play a game of hide and go fuck yourself

You're about as useful as Anne Frank's drum kit

Hey- why don't you give me your phone number and I will call you when I give a shit

Does your penis ever get jealous of you being a total dick

You're not worth the money it would have cost to abort you

I wish you would climb up your ego and jump off onto your IQ

Whoever's willing to fuck you is just too lazy to jerk off

Did you fall from Heaven? Because it looks like you hit the ground face-first

Your birth certificate is an apology from the abortion clinic
If I wanted any lip from you I'd pry it off my dick

I'd tell you to go eat a dick, but I don't want to tell you how to do your job

Your mother should have just swallowed you

Your father should have put it in her butt

Your father should have just gone to sleep that night